(Sunset Beach, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico...on the balcony of our honeymoon suite)
Just in case this post ends abruptly, let me tell you I am and have been an emotional basket case (hard to imagine, I know) right now and I may just not be able to finish typing. Either way, it is what it is (I seem to be saying that A LOT lately).
Pressing onward...
I'm not exactly sure why I'm feeling the way I am. I can't find an exact starting point and I can't envision what may have changed. Regardless, I have been ready to cry at the drop of a hat and felt fairly bitter toward others around me (including my precious 3rd graders). For the sake of others and myself, I took a sick day today. Now, am I the kind of sick to go to the doctor and load up on meds (as what's been "going around" lately)? No. I am sick, as in my mind is on a roller coaster that's not ready to fill the rest of my body in on what the hey is going on!
So, I needed this day for me. (fyi...the tears have begun) I wanted to sleep in (to help with the constant desire to close my eyes and walk peacefully to dream land). I wanted to wake up and enjoy a late morning cup of coffee (it's a daily morning routine that aids my energy level and possibility of no afternoon headache). I wanted to tackle the house cleaning chores I've been slacking on (to help the dirty home anxieties I've been having when I walk around this place...sink piled up with dirty dishes and dishwasher piled up with clean ones, clean laundry spread across the guest bed, and papers/mail attacking the coffee table). Sadly, I didn't want to focus any of my time on school or being a teacher (I believe we [teachers] NEED this time to survive.). *Although I feel a bit guilty for this, I am sticking to it. I wanted to take a drive with the sunroof open (even in the 30 degree temps) and the music blaring, in the beautiful sunshine that was planned and is shining brightly through the window as I type! I wanted to take a little time to shop/gain some retail therapy. I wanted to make up for my lost day of 2.5 miles running (I'm training for the Derby mini marathon to run with my sisters and brother!) that I chose not to take part in yesterday. I wanted to do ALL of this by myself! To top off my ME day...I want to share in an evening of sushi with my one and only (or maybe Lauren...a confidante and another female to console me and UNDERSTAND that I'm not crazy for being "sick.") *I do have to add that Matt's been overly consoling and understanding of my tantrums. He even massaged my feet last night and let me bury my snotty nose in his chest as he just stood there with his arms around me. (even more tears, at this moment, for the thought of just how blessed I am to have him as my life partner)
As I wrap up this horribly soppy post, let me first say that I'm well on my way to fulfilling my wants for this day. I'll end by saying that I'm really liking this whole blog thing (yes, I know, my brain just hopped around on you). It's a release for me. As you'll probably notice, my past couple of posts have been pretty down in the dumps. Let me tell you, I've got so much to be thankful for and I am fully aware of that. Are there things that pull me down? Of course. I do know; however, that I can overcome.
In God, I trust. He is my Lord and Savior and he brings me strength.
