Here, you have a blog post a year in the making...
September 2013
I fancied myself in paying a visitors look to our page today. I've felt very guilty in not having written in, well, I'm realizing a WHOLE YEAR! I've distanced myself from releasing these inner thoughts of this past year.
Although that would make it sound as if it's been a year from (down there) and that's not very well true. Hard times? Yes. Obstacles? Oh yea. Learning? Always. His perfections in the works? Of course.
So many quotes, sayings, gestures, and any other way to say that same thing... all heard or crossed through my mind at some point or another. Getting to the nitty gritty of it, His perfect timing is always in process. He only delivers perfection. If something is not to that perfection, it's just not ready. That time will come.
I speak of two very large "hill climbings" we've had to overcome in the past year, mostly occurring within the walls of 2013. (Regardless of the fact that I just plain don't like odd numbers and, well, 13... It is what it is.) Anyway, we made a discovery halfway through the first month of the year. What we had been waiting to see, hear, feel, you name it. Those pink lines popped into place and, yes, our questions of the possibility of even being capable of baby making were answered!!!!! It happened!
That is, until week 9. We then were smacked back into the reality that His perfection wasn't yet perfect. Our pride and joy had lost its beat. I cannot even begin to describe the heartbreak that was within. I can say that I was quickly able to see M's inspiring ability to protect and console me. He was crushed inside and never once allowed that to seep through until he knew I was comforted and able.
September 2014
Now, a year after having written the first part of this post, I'm reaching the "okay" point in sharing and releasing what many already know. What many have assumed to know. What many have asked others about. What many have jumped to conclusions about. What many haven't had the courage to ask myself or M about (understandable, at times, I know).
I share this with you because I've had more of an influx in our closest friends and family reaching out. A few of the questions and comments that have been received (either to me or in conversations I'm a part of) include:
"Do they want kids?"
"When will they have kids?"
"Are they trying?"
"Have they seen a specialist?"
"Have they thought about in vitro (IVF)?"
"Have they thought about surogacy?"
"Have they thought about adoption? That always works."
"Do they know the right position?"
"There's only a certain time of month, but I just got lucky."
"Has she used an ovulation kit?"
"Has she checked her temperature?"
"Can you believe there are people that just can't get pregnant and have no reasons why?"
"I get the waiting thing, but after 35, things get risky. You know, like Down Syndrome and stuff."
"Just go drink and relax yourself. Before you know it..."
PLEASE don't get me wrong, I completely understand the lack of education on a matter that doesn't pertain to you and your circumstances. What you don't know, you don't know. And I, by no means, am one to judge.
Just have some decency to respect others and keep opinions/judgments to yourself.
I have battled with "coming out" about this because I didn't feel as if it were a matter for others to know. In part, I've been ashamed, felt guilty, and been in denial. However, what's the purpose of that?
Yes, M and I have battled with unexplained infertility for the past 5 1/2 years and an unexplained miscarriage too. We've tested ovulations, charted temperatures, taken more pills than you could imagine, been poked, prodded, injected, seen 4 different specialists, added acupuncture to the growing list, and had 3 rounds of IUI's. At times, I've given up caffeine, all soft drinks, gluten, dairy, tanning beds, hot baths, and more. Most of those are still in effect or greatly minimized.
Believe me when I say that we have weighed our options and know just about every additional route there is. But when you're left with no explanation and the time you did conceive was completely natural (with the 1 acupuncture visit), you're left trusting in your God that has a plan, as He's carried you through these years. You don't give up on the belief that something wonderfully perfect is to come and it could just as easily be formed inside of you.
The greatest thing of all is that we're finding ourselves and the core of our relationship. The love I have for that man is stronger than it's ever been. We're soon to celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary and 13th year together. Our plan is carrying out daily. We're happy and blessed.
Regardless of the challenging days, we have one another and our God. When He's finished creating our masterpiece, we'll be sure to share! Until then, I'm going to...
Live to explore. Smile often. Love fully. Shine for others.
September 13, 2014
September 29, 2012
September 1, 2012
I'm alive...
Hey there! It's ME! I survived!
I'm now 21 hours through my 30 hour master's after having started in January. My last class will begin in January and I WILL BE FINISHED! Another hurdle jumped, professionally developed, and a pay raise!
I cannot complain.
I have, however, felt the "where'd my summer go" anxiety. The week before I began making my home visits to each of my students, I was an emotional wreck. I kept saying, "wait, I haven't done anything!" M reassured me that my time was well spent typing papers, attending class, and busting out work like a pro. HELLO! What kind of summer is that?!
Now, 4 weeks in to this new school year and the first paycheck with the elementary student allowance increase in pay, I'm super excited to have accomplished this Summer of 2012 and get my bootie closer to a much more adult-like pay increase! Spoiled a bit...maybe. But, it's a well deserved bit of spoiling!
With that being said, I'm very happy to return to YOU, my bloggy friends! I just KNOW you've missed my shenanigans! More to come very soon, rest assured!
For now, enjoy this fabulous Labor Day weekend AND first weekend in college football!
Geaux Tigers!! #lsuroar
June 26, 2012
May 8, 2012
Cheating...
I have to admit one great thing before I'm on hiatus from you, my friends...
I am cheating on "Samples of Us" with "Confessions of a Storybook Sampler." It's all in good fun and for great reasons...
I'm taking on HALF of my master's hours in 4 short months (2 Summer bi-terms). Yep, you read that right!
I am hurdling over 15 of the 30 hours needed to gain my master's degree, this Summer. Sure, I'm crazy, but I'm also ready to get his whole master's thing over and done with. I'm used to pressure and an overloaded to-do list. So, why not?
With that; however, I will be taking a break from this little life for the next 4 months.
I wish you all well and I'll be sure to check in on my bloggy friends every now and then, as I sit typing poolside.
Toodaloo mis amigos!
April 30, 2012
It's a running thing...
I'm no professional, but I, personally, don't think there is such a thing. Anyone with the heart and drive to do it, can. Whether we all do it in the same fashion is neither here nor there. It simply is what it is... a running thing.
A thing I started in 2005 and have since held a love-hate relationship with. Oddly enough, in my longest down time from running, I decided to take on a half marathon. A year ago this past weekend, I did it. One of the hardest things I have ever done, yet one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt... a sense of accomplishment like no other.
After running the Kentucky Derby Festival Mini-Marathon in 2011, I ran a few 3-milers following, then just stopped. I didn't put my Aasics back on. I walked away from that lifestyle and went a separate path. A path that led me to utter laziness and weight gain.
Until the 2012 birthday of the KDF Mini.
My drive has returned! I'm motivated and ready to tackle the roadways again. I feel such a greater desire now than I ever have! It's crazy what this running thing can do to you.
My time on the roadways is spent rocking out to Pandora tunes (more specifically, "Eye of the Tiger" radio),
reflecting on the moments that have passed, and most importantly...
It's a stormy evening and the thunder and lightening have just subsided. I'm not afraid of a few raindrops. My friends (Aasics) are waiting by the front door...
April 24, 2012
A daily reminder of tongue-tied proportions...
Happiness, for me, means...
The reminders I'm in need of...
To keep on track, I have to just
and know that
April 17, 2012
April 10, 2012
Slacking much...
A lot has happened in our lives over the past week. I seriously don't even know where to begin!
Do know; however, that I'M ON SPRING BREAK!!!! It's been a long time coming and I couldn't be happier for this relaxing time at home. Although I'm having to get my research on for my master's class, it could be so much worse...long school days and getting my research on. Ick!
Anyhoo, it was a whirlwind of a weekend! I had the joys of taking on my middle sister's wedding festivities... last minute errands, ladies day brunch and nails, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, ladies evening pajama celebrations, and THE big day! It wears me out to reflect on it all! I'm definitely excited for her happily ever after! Here are a few shining moments that were shared...
We woke up the next day... Easter Sunday... to a beautifully brightened outdoors! Because the weekend exhaustion set in during our sleep, we completely missed church...my first in my entire life. I'm very sad about that, but I'm grateful for the blessings He showered us with anyway. We got to share in family photos with M's side of the fam. They were, of course, beautiful! I mean, when your MIL is a photographer, you've got no worries!
Moving on...
We savored a most delicious Easter dinner to wrap up the evening. I tell you what!... There's NOTHING like some tasteful down-home southern cooking! Oh yea, we devoured some salad, turkey, pork tenderloin, Granny Nell yeast rolls, green beans, potatoes, broccoli casserole, corn pudding, and Coca-Cola chocolate cake!!
Your mouth watering yet?!
And now...
I leave you with this...
HAPPY
March 29, 2012
Sticky stuff...
 |
| It could be HIM! |
My mind is trying to wrap around a recent e-mail I received from my sister. She shared this message (as she's not a blogger) with a large group of family and friends. I've thought about it on and off throughout the past couple of days. I've read the blog post she mentions in her message, as well as my friend Kelly's post HERE.
I'm at a loss as to the best way to lay it out. First and foremost, it could be my flesh and blood! Secondly, it could be ANY innocent child!! It makes me sick that we have such inhumane people in this world!!!!!! I pray for those people each day. That they may be blessed with God's love in a way that calms their soul and allows them to see the grace that is within so many more of us.
They need to see the change. They need to believe the change. And WE need to BE the change!
The e-mail reads...
I've had something so, extremely heavy, weighing on my mind these past few days. The more I read, the heavier it feels. I feel, as a mother, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a wife, as every role that I attempt to fulfill, it is my responsibility to speak up. Something horrible has happened in our country and I can't find the words to explain how I feel about it. Because I can't find the appropriate words to accurately describe how I feel, I haven't said much.
As citizens of this country that we live in, and that some people receiving this have even fought for, we are blessed with the right to our own opinion. The point I wish to make, what bothers me to tears is one, simple fact: the CHILD that was KILLED just one month ago while walking from the store to his father's house could have been mine! Many of you love me and you love my family. You love my children. My two boys are black and they wear hoodies. Both of them. The oldest, my stepson who I adore, wears them ALL THE TIME. With the hood on his head. He walks to the gas station less than a mile down the street, wearing a hoodie. ALL THE TIME. You know what he often buys and walks home with? A BAG OF SKITTLES PEOPLE! Do you realize how close to home this hits for me? My child, my flesh and blood. The child that many of you love on and spoil. He too wears hoodies. His favorite candy? Yep, SKITTLES! You know what my husband and I teach our boys? If you are picked on, bullied or attacked by someone, big or small, I don't care who they are, you defend yourself! You make your attempt to escape the situation, but if you're unable, you defend yourself. This could have happened to one of my children. This DID happen to someones child! I compare this to my eight year old child and people probably think that it wouldn't happen to him. It just as easily could. I feel that as a parent, as a person who realizes how easily Trayvon Martin could be one of my boys, it is my responsibility to speak up. This post goes into a lot more detail about how I feel. If you're interested, read it. (http://momastery.com/blog/2012/03/26/for-trayvon/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=for-trayvon) But know that if this issue is ignored, if people like you and I do not speak up, one day very soon, it WILL be one of my boys. I really don't think people understand just how easily this could be one of my boys!
I'm a white woman, but no matter who wants to admit it, my child, my son who is my entire world, is BLACK. And one day, no matter what type of human being he turns out to be, he will be viewed as guilty and up to no good. because he is black. That is his reality. I have said, many times, in many circumstances that it is my responsibility as his parent, as the person who God trusted to raise the best I can, to do my best to stand up for and protect my son. Therefore, I will. It is MY RESPONSIBILITY to stand up for my son and I will do that as long as I am able.
What has happened to this child, Trayvon Martin, is wrong. No matter how you look at it, you listen to the 911 calls. If you truly, without a shadow of a doubt believe that this child deserved what he got, don't do anything. Otherwise, it is your responsibility to speak out. Just a few weeks ago, I saw so many videos about Kony. But this issue that I speak of, it is happening in OUR home. And those who have the nerve to speak out against Joseph Kony, you are right. I agree with you whole-heartedly. I just beg you to do the same for OUR children in OUR country. Because one day, very soon, if not already, my child will be seen as guilty and wrong or suspicious. If you do nothing else, copy my words. Paste them onto your Facebook page. Paste them on your Blog. Forward my words to others. But if you agree with me yet you do nothing, as harsh as it sounds, every time that a child, including mine, is seen as guilty, bad or suspicious just because of the color of their skin and are punished unjustly.... That's on you. I send this not just on behalf of my children that I want to hold just a little more tightly today. I also know that most everyone in my contact list has a child, grandchild, cousin or other loved one who has some color to their skin, whether it's Black, Hispanic, Arabic, or of another nationality. Know that there will be a day, all too soon, that they will also be profiled for that very reason.
Thank you for your time. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for loving my family!
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| Prayers are with the friends and family of this child! |
~Please pray for the people in our world who could do such a thing. May WE be the change for them to see.~
March 26, 2012
It's that time of year...
So...yes...it's Monday. But it's a Monday in Spring and that's all the better! I'm catching up with my fav's, Jess & Kel! Won't you join us for...
Today's questions are:
What is your favorite thing about spring? Favorite color? Favorite flower? Favorite place to enjoy? Favorite thing to do outdoors?
For me...
For me...
I love spring because of the fresh and new beginnings. I love the smells, sounds, and scenery of this vibrant time of year!
fresh cut grass
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